TOP 10 THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOUR CHILD (AND HOW TO RESPOND TO THEM)

From the moment our child is born, we cannot help but want to hear what they are thinking. When they have hit their developmental speech and hearing milestones, we are happy because we are finally getting our wish. “I love you mum and dad!” probably feature among the top ten things you would hope to hear from your child – but as we all know, the good usually comes with the bad. Below are the top 10 things every parent do NOT hope to hear from their child, ever (in no particular order):



1. “I hate you.”

Our rational self would tell us that this is a heat-of-the-moment thing but our human (read: less rational) side would feel absolutely crushed upon hearing it. When your child says this, try not to take it personally as they probably: a) do NOT mean it or b) simply hasn't developed the vocabulary necessary to express their true feelings (usually anger and annoyance at something you did or didn't do.)

2. “I think I am fat”

Regardless of your child's body weight, hearing these words from your child can feel like a slap in the face,baby care, especially when they have not even entered secondary school yet. It is easy at this point to dismiss their words as nonsense or argue the opposite but don't do both, we say, because doing any of that simply means you're shoving their feelings under the carpet. Instead, ask them what has prompted them to say it, and educate them about peer pressure and how the images they see in the media are not representative of the real world.

3. “I am being bullied.”

No parent likes seeing their child get hurt, therefore,baby bedding, it can be extremely hard to hear these words coming out of your child's mouth. You will go through a turmoil of emotions – ranging from anger to sheer helplessness. First of all, keep a lid on those emotions. Your child tells you this because he thinks you can help him find a solution, which is why letting anger take over your faculties will get you both nowhere. You can then take the appropriate steps towards countering the problem.



4. “I wish I was the only child!”

Parents with more than one child will usually hear this at some point. Before you get angry at your child on his sibling's behalf, try to get into what has prompted him to say it. More often than not, it happens because of a conflict between him and his sibling(s). Acknowledge that they do not like their sibling very much at that point in time, and try to see if you can resolve the conflict. Subsequently, talk to him about the benefits of having siblings and remind him of their happy times together.



5. “Are you and dad/mum getting divorced?”

Usually uttered with a sad or fear-stricken face. If you fight in front of your child often, you are bound to hear the above. This shows that whatever conflict you and your spouse are embroiled in is affecting your child... a lot. As such, it is important to reassure your child that it is not his fault that you are fighting and that there will be no divorce. Then, examine yourself, your relationship and look for more positive ways to communicate with your spouse that do not involve making your child anxious.



6. “You are a horrible parent!”

Hearing this from your child will undoubtedly make you resentful, considering everything that you have done for him. Try and remain calm – because fact is that children will often use the adults closest to them as their punching bags. How you react matters, and you want to come away from the experience with your respect for each other intact. If your child says this to you,baby toys, ask them what has made them say it, then act accordingly.


7. “I prefer mum/dad!”

Ouch... trust us, we understand - but we also understand that it is possible to love both parents and still end up favouring one over the other. So don't take heart, as most experts agree that it is a phase that almost every child goes through. The best thing to do in the meantime is talk to your partner about switching roles e.g. if it has always been you who dole out discipline, get your partner to take over. You can also try spending more time with your child in order to bond with him.

8. “I hate school!”

Like the previous problem, this is something that most parents would have to go through when their children have started school. Talk to your child about it to get to the underlying issue. This particular problem can usually be solved by tackling the underlying issue and making them aware of how important school is. It is also advisable to rope in their teachers to help with the problem – as they are the ones that will be dealing with your child at school.


9. “You don't love/care about me.”

If this leaves you feeling befuddled, you are not alone. You do not understand why your child would say this, after everything you have done and sacrificed so much for her. The truth is, children don't think that far ahead, and if she sees you going to work everyday and not spending enough time with her as a result, she'll just assume the above. Because if you really love her, you'll spend time with her, right? Ask your child why she is feeling this way, and try to spend more time with her doing the activities she likes.

If it is impossible due to the full time nature of your work, explain to your child why you have to work and try to make it up to her in other ways.

10. “Why can't you be more like Aunt Sophie?”

This hurts because Aunt Sophie didn't raise her up – so you end up getting annoyed at both your child and Aunt Sophie. This usually happens because your child feels like you stifling her with too many rules and regulations. Remind your child that those rules are a necessary part of life, and that they may not like Aunt Sophie too, if they were to stay together as the latter would probably have rules of her own!

No matter what you do, do NOT badmouth whoever your child is comparing you to. It will reflect badly on you by making you look petty.

Conclusion
Like you, we hope that you would never hear any of the above from your child but if you do, at least you won't be stumped for a response anymore!

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Yeah, i agreed with you 100%. No parents wants to hear these words from their childrens even me to. But i don't know how to respond them if they said these words. I am so glad, i have found your post in which you have explained about how to hold this situation. Your post is best essay written and also very well written. Thanks alot for sharing this with us.

 

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