Just for Laugh

Thảo luận trong 'Giao lưu Ngoại Ngữ' bắt đầu bởi Hank Williams, 17/12/04.

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  1. shadow_cat

    shadow_cat Lonely in Gorgeous

    Tham gia ngày:
    28/12/04
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    Flower Field
    @ F8:just look at the introducing of your make me laugh to burst out my tear^^
    one of your hobby:- tennis<-- high standard.....uh, you do not need to say it out loud, since this box have very small percent of girl
    - girl
    the last sentence: hope u guys grow up a bit and go out with me......this kinda remind me of our precious IE.(secretly talk to everyone: hey, we have one more dilemma soon, this boy is really sharp, he is begin to notice IE). anyway, this box in very old, we have at least 5 people over U20, 1 over U25, and one U30, so, we will need you to go out with us when we cross the street, since we are so old to care of ourself^^
     
    shadow_cat, 20/5/05
    #21
  2. Dämmerung

    Dämmerung Guest

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    *Notices that FF8 exist*
    Hey! Who's he? Your ga..... err..... girl friend huh, IE? ( :-" )
     
    Dämmerung, 21/5/05
    #22
  3. lemoney

    lemoney T.E.T.Я.I.S

    Tham gia ngày:
    22/4/03
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    ...Sài Gòn...
    Fishing​

    …One guy goes fishing with his mate on a beautiful day, he forgets to have a shit before they go, and miles from anywhere when the stomach ache starts to get bad....he decides, being miles from anywhere, to just have a shit in the woods nearby, and use leaves to wipe his arse with. So off he trundles...

    …He squats down, being careful not to get his new coat dirty off the muddy floor, anyway, apparently he fire a scud, and wipe his arse to see nothing there, " a clean break" he thinks to himself, he pulls up his kecks, and turns round, to see that his shit isn't there...

    …He then thinks that maybe he doesn't actually shit at all, but swears he felt the relief that only a shit can bring...

    …Nature then smacks him in the face, as it starts raining, he pulls his hood up, and lo and behold, he'd actually shat in the hood of his brand new coat....he then throws up down the front of aforementioned coat too....

    …Moral: Fishing, not as boring as it’s made out to be...

    ==============================================

    Tight Skirt​

    …In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

    …Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

    …So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

    …Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

    …With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

    …About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

    …She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

    …The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
    ==============================================
    …Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet USD 20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

    …She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

    …With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

    …As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

    …She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

    …The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."


    … Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men…
    ==============================================
    Bad day​

    …This little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink. He's been sitting there for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

    …The poor little guy starts crying.

    …" Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

    …" This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.”

    …“ When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was left in the cab. At home I found my wife in bed screwing the gardener. So I came to this bar and was about to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison”...

    … Moral: “Hồn ai nấy giữ” quoted from advert of Bến Thành Beer …

    ==============================================

    …A judge working a double-murder case tells the defendant,

    …“You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

    …“YOU BASTARD ! ” yells a voice from the back of the courtroom.

    …“You're also charged with killing your mother-in-law with a hammer,” says the judge.

    …“ BASTARD ! ” the same person yells. The judge addresses the man sitting in the back of the courtroom.

    …“Sir, one more outburst and I'll charge you with contempt.”

    …“I'm sorry, Your Honour,” says the man. “But I've been this bastard's neighbour for 10 years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.”
     
    lemoney, 1/6/05
    #23
  4. Fantasy8

    Fantasy8 Mega Man

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    Where I was born
    oh...u can see inside my mind...bow in admiration :p:p
    haha why did u say about me that im really sharp huh?? i just cunning or smart =)) ....dunt worry..i never notice IE...just... ;))
    make people laugh is my responsibility :p

    grrrr i can hear u X(
    what are u trying to say huh??? :'>
     
    Fantasy8, 8/6/05
    #24
  5. Silver Falcon

    Silver Falcon T.E.T.Я.I.S

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    o.0
    lolzz , IE , she/he admits the trust HERE ! #>:)
     
    Silver Falcon, 8/6/05
    #25
  6. Fantasy8

    Fantasy8 Mega Man

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    haha no need to notice Ie... he Knew already =))
    Right IE???
     
    Fantasy8, 9/6/05
    #26
  7. Dämmerung

    Dämmerung Guest

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    *Whistles*  :-"
     
    Dämmerung, 9/6/05
    #27
  8. shadow_cat

    shadow_cat Lonely in Gorgeous

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    @ FF8: is i saw you go around with your sign just 3 or 4 post more, i will request admin to cut off your sign, and maybe your head too
     
    shadow_cat, 9/6/05
    #28
  9. Dämmerung

    Dämmerung Guest

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    Why? :-?
     
    Dämmerung, 9/6/05
    #29
  10. Silver Falcon

    Silver Falcon T.E.T.Я.I.S

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    yep !
    then bò's head must be cut off , too ^^
     
    Silver Falcon, 9/6/05
    #30
  11. Fantasy8

    Fantasy8 Mega Man

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    Where I was born
    To crush escort :clown: =))=))

    ầy dunt make me so scare =))=))

    lol lol
     
    Fantasy8, 9/6/05
    #31
  12. Dämmerung

    Dämmerung Guest

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    Sure...*Shows countless chinks on his neck*
    That's from the past XD
     
    Dämmerung, 10/6/05
    #32
  13. kidaica999

    kidaica999 Mr & Ms Pac-Man

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    5/3/05
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    =))
    he he he

    so cool

    whatever you said , no more for funs .

    anyone in newyork , pm me now for special funs..

    =))
     
    kidaica999, 18/6/05
    #33
  14. ipridian_elf

    ipridian_elf Voyage perdu GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    19/3/03
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    <JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
    <JonJonB> Let's see the results...

    <JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
    <JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

    <JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

    <JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
    <JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

    <JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

    <JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

    <JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

    <JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

    <JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

    <JonJonB> Ok
    <JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
    <JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
    <JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
    <melusine > O_______O
    <JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

    <JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

    <JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

    ... :))=)):)):)):))=)):))

    Search for "wang" in a dictionary if you don't understand .. it means .. d*ck ... :))
     
    ipridian_elf, 14/7/05
    #34
  15. kennynz

    kennynz T.E.T.Я.I.S

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    Excuse me !!!
    dat one not funny at all
    I really didnt laugh cause ur story too suck ...

    But thanks for ur posting
     
    kennynz, 1/8/05
    #35
  16. Frog

    Frog Mr & Ms Pac-Man

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    1/7/04
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    Ha ha IE , it's nice , you know :))
    But I've never thought that you're that perverted =))
    Though , (a little shame) , it took me quite sometime to find the word "dick" ... And about the wang , it is not an English word , is it ???
    " Hermione grabbed Harry's wang " =))
     
    Frog, 1/8/05
    #36
  17. StephenK

    StephenK Donkey Kong

    Tham gia ngày:
    15/5/05
    Bài viết:
    325
    Nơi ở:
    Alone...
    some fun fun

    - Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.

    - Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.

    - I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.

    - Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...

    - All of you who believe in psychokinetics, raise 'my' hand ...

    - Lots of people stop working once they found a job!

    - I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.

    - Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.

    - The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.

    - I said no to drugs, but they did nog listen!

    - As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.

    - I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!

    - 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message =))

    - My mother-in-law walks 5 miles every day... I wonder where she'd be by now.

    - Like a rose withers, so is our relationship withering ...

    - Keep the school clean ... stay home!

    - Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!

    - We do have to go to school ... Have to is force ... Forcing is slavery .... Slavery is forbidden ... SO ... we do not have to go to school!

    - No boys no love, no love no sex, no sex no people, no people no school, no school no problems

    - That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.

    - The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist

    - It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.

    - It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live

    - It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.

    - It's the heart afraid of Breaking ... that never learns to dance.

    - Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down

    - Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it

    -A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise ...

    - When my father broke in to my mother I had to sit there for months!

    - Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !

    - Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.

    -I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.

    - Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car ! !

    - No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?"

    - I love working. I can look at it for hours.

    - We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.

    - Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

    - Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.

    - Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.

    - Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it !

    - You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?

    - My thoughts wondering off, I am always everywhere.

    - I intended to become rich while sleeping, but I could not fall asleep yet.

    - It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.

    - Nok nok. Who's there? ..... Marie ...... Marie who? ...... Marie who wanna...!!

    - Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!

    - Umm...your .... ZIP is open...

    - Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.

    - Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.

    - How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.

    - Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.

    - I'm not as dumb as you look.

    - If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

    - What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.

    - Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

    - Linus is like a wigwam,no windows,no gates and an apache inside...
     
    StephenK, 10/8/05
    #37
  18. StephenK

    StephenK Donkey Kong

    Tham gia ngày:
    15/5/05
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    Nơi ở:
    Alone...
    All about Friendship :D​



    - Working is a delight, leave enough work for your colleagues.

    - My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child..do we ruin our carpet or our life?

    - Remember that you are unique... just like everybody else!

    - I never forget a face, but for you I will make an exception.

    - Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

    - Speaking Italian is hard, but I eat and drink it without difficulties! :cool:

    - A good movy can make you cry... so can onions.

    - Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a post office!

    - Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to receive friends. And a garden full of memories … of many good things.

    - You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a true friend !

    - A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!!

    - Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be te most beautiful one on earth. Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!

    - No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and its warmth ... will bring it to us

    - There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses last only a while ... but friendship is for ever

    - I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me you

    - Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know they're there! :x

    - Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them is me ...

    - I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!

    - When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted by a storm....

    - My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.

    - When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own fault.

    - who digs a hole for some else is surely no selfish person !

    - I am on holiday ... when I think of holidays I think of the beach, when I think of the beach I think of the sea, when I think of the sea, I think of jellyfish...
    when I think of jellyfish, I think of YOU!!!!!!!! :o

    - A friend is someone who knows when you need her...

    - A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you ma friend.

    - If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands.

    - Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.

    - All nice things in life are illegal, immoral, or make you grow fat.

    - When it is raining setbacks, use your smile as an umbrella!

    - A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it for you when you have forgotten it

    - Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others tell after you die

    - You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together, but you are only real friends when you also cried together.

    - Before you want to start making a work of art, first make a draft, that is what also God did by creating first the man and then the woman

    - Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.

    - Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.

    - A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can dance and jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to cry, come and borrow it!

    - My girlfriend ran off with my best friend after a relationship of four years....Oh how I miss my friend.

    - I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I was not born, everyone would like to know why.

    - A new meeting next month ? Sorry, that is not possible, I have to go to a funeral.

    - Happiness is a disaster. You get lazy. When you do not pay attention, you might start loving life.

    - The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other people happy.

    - He was very lonely. The only type he knew was his blood type.

    - I visited the tax office. I wanted to know the people I work for.

    - I was a beautiful baby. But they switched my in the hospital.

    - Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.
     
    StephenK, 10/8/05
    #38
  19. StephenK

    StephenK Donkey Kong

    Tham gia ngày:
    15/5/05
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    325
    Nơi ở:
    Alone...
    and ..To my darling ​

    - You are so beautiful, sweet and faithful... It is a pity that I do not like animals!!!

    - I think you are ugly and stupid, You are a real pain in the …... Wait a moment.... oh no, I do have the right number...

    - Roses are red, violets are blue, when I sense the smell of the bathroom, I think of you !

    - I do not swear, I do not smoke and I do not drink ! O damned My sigarette has fallen in my glass of beer ...

    - I wish you lots of itching and short arms.

    - You have the face of a saint...a Saint-Bernard!

    - Will we play the hulk together??.....I will be tall and strong and you green and ugly!!! =))

    - If you did not have any feet, would you wear shoes?? ...no... why do you wear a bra????!!! :o

    - A fart is a flying planet, created by God and produced by men!

    - Why do men fart more often than women ? Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure..

    - Oké honey, we will try one more time!! How do you spell 'IQ' ?

    - I am born this way, but what is your excuse?

    - I love the sea, I love the rocks, but when I see you I need to puke ! :P

    - Some people die. Others become a teacher...

    - The more the merrier. The more women, the more prettier.

    -Women are just like frogs. They have a big mouth and are scared of the stork.

    - If you are raped and you cannot defend yourself... keep still and enjoy it !

    - If I ever die because of marihuana, mark on my grave, I am too stoned to get up!!

    - When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!

    - You know when you are really too fat? When you are on the beach and Greenpeace carries you back to the sea.

    - When are you really full of confidence? .............. If you fart having diarrhoea.

    - Roses are red ... Violets are blue ... but a face like yours belongs in the zoo !!!

    - On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!

    - Nice hair, a shame that you sit on it.

    - Roses are red violets are blue, shit stinks and so do you!

    - He kisses her gently on the lips. She does not feel comfortable, squeezes her legs, and so his glasses broke.

    - A woman is a marvellous creation, she produces milk without eating grass, she bleeds without being hurt, gets wet even when it does not rain and sucks without needing power. #>:)

    - It is red and it taps on the window .................... A baby in a microwave.

    - I like your style ... I like your class ... but most of all I like your ass
     
    StephenK, 10/8/05
    #39
  20. Frog

    Frog Mr & Ms Pac-Man

    Tham gia ngày:
    1/7/04
    Bài viết:
    142
    what do you think , IE ? Too much copy/paste , eh ? :))
    I really like the idea of "wang" , IE :D
    " He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them=)) ."
     
    Frog, 15/8/05
    #40
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