Silent tears of the poet

Well...If ya just wanna play around while having a break, do whatever ya want. The thing I want to mind ya is that, if ya don't get the hell out of the darkness you created yourself, ya might never see the light. Ya may not want to see it, but one day will ya want.

I'm busy all days, even in days human called "special" like Christmas, or New Year Eve. I have my own reason in doing so. I have my mind set when I decided to return to the life with full strength. The end is waiting for me ahead. I have to go.

That's all. I have to go.

 

Don't be so pessimistic, though ::(

 

What do you know of me when you wrote so?
That's the deep shit you're being in. I don't wanna say more.

I've already had what I wanted. From the beginning. That's the simpliest thing in my life I demanded since the time I'd gone to the darkness. Or just the shit I claimed myself "darkness".

I've already had my light, or anything you would call. That's all I need.

 

@RATFied: dont worry ^^, i know what is the right way of "acknowledging" the life. Since i have my own life, i should give out what's inside me.I think it's the best way to live, even selfish.
Let's quote this sentence of sinners,for they have the dream but also the pain within

For today this is mine:

Our Last Day

I woke up and cant remmeber
Is it a last day of December ?
Falling the first snow of my winter
With my eyes laid on this love letter

Is sadness brings this winter breeze ?
Your tears have fallen within me
Whisper to my dream and memory
I can see your eyes beyond this sea.

Hoping hard, my crest-fallen soul
Angels silent, which way to go
To the place where i've grown
By your side, half of my soul

The letter you hold without a name
With all hopes and dreams i sent
Promise to see me there again
Before the gentle November rain

I woke up and cant remember
Is it our last day together ?
Will i remain in you forever ?
Drop my letter in the rain of November
​

 

Letter in the rain

"Let my heart be unleashed by thee, let myself be free
Shall we be there again, be under crystal rain
Last day has passed far, leave me with no scar
Touch me by your smile, for that i could die..."

Still unread, lied on the way
Keep faith, faded in astray

"Call me by name, set love in flame
By crescent moon, beyond the blue lagoon
Live with me forever, thy beautiful flower
Eternal moonlight cascade on us, even we will be dust..."

Be torned, waiting so long
In rain, words faded with pain

"Don't say farewell, these words of hell
Love you i still, forever i will
Ocean in tear, for you're not here
Leave this in rain, if you dont understand..."

Still there, one with the time
Dying, by innocent crime.​

 

Good to see you and your things.

I'm busy these days. Just passing by to read some poems and novels. That's all I could do.

 

These days were very hard for me to find inspiration, plus i'm taking time for my final exam.

I guess we wont be able to meet each other again in a loooonnnggggg time...

farewell ::)

 

geeshh....inspiration came back so soon ....

Kiss For The Night

For the one that never see the light
The crawler who slumber within immortal night
Masterpiece will never be completed
Ever you wonder, what's on his lips ?

Who are truly born as demon ?
People live in their own consequence
Who walk the dark path alone
Cannot cry for the heart has gone

Angel, why your beauty is his strength within
You have lost into his life dream
Will you have enough courage in your heart
To tell him he's not alone and so touched

Kiss for the night, come from the light
Share with the demon one sole night
Enlighten a dying heart by the lesson of your father
Kiss for the night, of beautiful deceiver

Never let you go, but he will
In his lonely heart, he knows how you feel
What he hold is only fantasy
At night the moment remains in eternity...​

 

You see? When you do things alone, you can only see darkness and lonliness.

That's what it means for me to be here.

Yap. I am happy.

 

How have you been?

Melancholy seems to fit me most

Blood And Paint

The light break in and make you cry
They all laugh for brought you to life
Welcome to the dream of strife
Where your fantasies are all denied

Hold your mother's hand, share the fear
Let she whisper what you want to hear
Hope will burn all your stained tears
Tell yourself that nothing is real

The Mother's Whisper
"My child, close your eyes and fantasize
A world without me nor paradise
A world behind your lonely mind
Break the chain to touch the sky
Where darkness can't make you cry
Forever you shall not open your eyes..."

The light break in once again
Drown your soul into the sea of flame
Open your eyes, shed the tears of pain
While holding your mother's tainted hand

Lost in this never ending nightmare
Listen to that heart beat of despair
Take one more step, dont be scared
Already gone, nothing to spare

The Child's Scream
"Mother, where's our undying land
With angels and roses and saints
By your side and holding my hand
Was it all draw by your blood and paint..?"

The Mother's Cry
"This is your divine punishment
Once your eyes were opened
It's the end of all innocence
You've lost faith in the sacrament
My little love, where are you sleeping in this graveyard of the fallen..."​

 

I hope this will bring happiness

Upon The Hill Of Blessing Hope

Again tonight i sleep alone
The shadow's hanging over my soul
It's been raining inside me ever since
I close my eyes but my heart can't

This old face was twisting in the dark
When memory brings me back there
Upon the hill of blessing hope
Where i played as king and you were my queen

I hold your hand and sing and dance
You caught my hair under summer sun
Untied your ribbon, put down my book
It was there upon the hill of blessing hope

Nothing, we didnt have servant or castle
All we had were promise and hope
I wish to see for your autumn eyes again
The gentle stars that gave me strenght

Where was it all gone and i became alone
I lost my way back to the old hill
Are you still there waiting for me ?
With the smile of an angel and grace
​

 

Let me share you something I'm holding in my mind.

I've just got the thing I claimed "Mind of Man's Life" (As for someone's misunderstood it for "Mind of Life") : Nhân sinh chi tâm.

The path to it is hard, dark and painful; but I finally 've come to the end of it, after so many years since the first day I mis-took the path to the Life. The path I chose that day isn't well-known to me, but I prefered it, for that I could be far away from the painful Life.

When I see the end of that path, I knew one thing : I wanna go back to the Life as soon as possible. Before my eyes was the endless, infinite flowing circles of the Life. That time I realize one thing : The Life is ultimate and endless creature, for that me the mortal human would never know all of it, that my efforts in acknowledging it will all be in vain. That time, I feared. Feared that I am not human anymore. Feared that, I AM DEAD already, but the mortal body left.

I tried to go back. But it all took half of my soul. My knowledge about the Life was enough for me to create it, *Nhân sinh chi tâm*. My knowledge about the Life would be a sand in the deep sea, but I've known the Man's Life enough.

I'm still new to it now, and trying to make it more powerful day by day. It will grow, until one day it will be able to bring the (lost) other half of my soul, which is being out of the Life.

I'm not sure if I can do it, since I've figured that when I gained the powerful *Nhân sinh chi tâm*, which will grow into *Sinh thế chi tâm*; I lost one thing in exchange for it. That was half of my soul.

But I still have half left. That's all I have and, I would retrieve it before I die, to be a real human, to be happy.

And you, don't let your soul be lost; you have a powerful spirit, so what could be the hell on Earth to explain the causing you lose your soul to the Life, let it throw away your precious soul?

I only have a half. But I have a powerful mind fused with *Nhân sinh chi tâm* now, what would the hell thing make me afraid? I am the owner of that powerful mind, still my skills are not being worth it, and it's still a kid in my mind now. But that's enough. One day it will grown up, with me, then will shut down when I die.

 

Well, i have lost faith in what i'm doing right now, thought it was a way to heaven but it turned out a path to the manipulation of people who care for me.

Live the best out of your dream is something hard to achieve for me since i have no guts to face and fight. Right now i just want to fulfill my parent's happiness, then i will take my own way later.Responsibility sure a heavy burden, but when i come to it, i will not hide but get along.

Thanks for your sharing, come to think of the Life, it sure simple in the way how people want it to be, it is hard for us who want to walk our own Life Path, but we live free and walk free on that way.

Man,so long since i have released my feeling for someone

 

I don't wanna say anything else...I consider that you can understand me and my feeling and my mind well.

I said "Man's Life" as for *Nhân sinh*, not "Life" as *Sinh thế* but you still misunderstood it.

I have no goal in my life, from childhood till now. My life is simple enough to me, that I even don't mind it for some points. Usually I obsessed in my mind is *Nhân sinh chi tâm* and it's continuing to howling in my mind and keep growing, day by day, while I'm living in Man's Life and observing it.

I tried to chat something about the Man's Life with my friends, but I soon found out they are all noobs; they even don't know what is called "cause & effect" - one of the the basics of all things in Man's Life. I then tried to chat with a professor, but after 30 minutes he seemed to be the beginner in the meaning of "forgive" and "unforgive". That disappointed me a lot. I then went to a psychology professor but after 3 hours, he then first time asked me "What? So that's it? That's how it is? Then what's more? Please tell me!" about just how mankind develop their awareness and then follow many little circles in the big circle of Life.

I don't refuse that I've read a lot, from many fields, even Myth, Biography, Economy, Philosophy, Psychology and many more; but I didn't imagine that my knowledge about Man's Life can even surpass those who is very experienced in both Man's Life and Psychology!!!

My feeling now is let alone...I know what I am, what I should do, and what I will do next. But I don't know how I will end up, since the thing I am being best at : *Nhân sinh chi tâm* is an endless creature; and other things are totally...maybe meaningless to me.

Then, how can I live if I don't have any goal in my life?

 

it's seem that the thread here is the place for you 2 to express feeling . let me "interupt" you guys. TO RATfield, you know who am i , don't you ? i've read you words , meanwhile, what if i say it's bullsh*t . don't be anger.. i think i can understand you , may be just a lil bit . I still don't understand clearly what the heck is " nhân sinh chi tâm " sound like ..chinese fiction :devil: but you know i can tell . you said that you have chatted with some "psychololy expert" and they couldnt understand you at all . that mean they are too stupid or you have gone too far , man. Just taking your time . come down and face with the common things in real life . im sure that you will find your destiny in this, somewhere you've never expected. or you can meet me , in tha f*cking class:wink:, then i will be able to teach you the true meaning of " Nhân sinh chi tâm" ... <--- this is why im hot rmber ?

 

Well, it's kinda hard to understand but it easy to sympathizes his feeling, i really don't feel what he told me is crappy, i value what he said until now.

But i do doubt that English is somehow a line between comprehensive and unclear.

 

Give me your Yahoo!ID so I can make friend with ya, ya shit. I said for a very long time, I understand you, there's no need to stupidly stand in that darkness, let me share you the true color of the dark and light; it depends on your eyes, that you can see or not. The Black is bright, the White is blinding.

"Human can only see things that they want to."

Then.

"If you want to see a thing, you will see it."

And.

"Do unto others."

 

Sound like the script from 6th sense,eh ?

[email protected]

Let me see what you said by myself, much better

 

Losing

This is the reason for my never ending heartache
Bleeding hard, i don' t want to call it fate
Dark everlasting moment flay my soul
My only love, why you have to go

Wake up and tell me you're playing childhood game
Playing dead and made me cry again
Is that you want me to wake the prince by tear
You've won, i 'm begging in fear

A mystic choir from the ocean's wave
Rise the pain for my heart's grave
Save for my little angel has gone
Tonight hearken to my funeral song

I laid on your lips not the first kiss
But only you can make me fell the bliss
Believe me, i never betrayed
Now i 'm here but you are so far away

So cold, ice on your white pale face
I will hold you warm in my arm,until i die
On this shore, where it all share
One day when i open my eyes, you will be there​

 

Can I use those poems in my blog, logean? :)
Of course I'll leave your name at the introduction of them