Silent tears of the poet

Thảo luận trong 'Giao lưu Ngoại Ngữ' bắt đầu bởi logean, 8/12/07.

  1. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Are you kidding me ?

    I never think like someone would put my garbage poem into their blog...

    I appreciate a lot, use as you please, but give me your blog also,deal :D ?
  2. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:

    Happy Birthday

    Withered leaves are falling to the ground
    With each fall my heart quivers deep down
    This time of the year used to be the happiest
    Now I know it’s the loneliest

    Happy Birthday
    I knew your only wish
    One passionate kiss from his lips

    No candle can light my heart
    In this special day let it once hurt
    This precious gift is only for you
    Who now sleeping under this lonesome groove

    Happy Birthday
    Sorry for keeping you waiting so long
    Now I’m here but where you’ve gone

    Taste my heart of undying faith
    And don’t question how it made
    For this secret I kept until that day of winter
    Since then we are apart forever

    Happy Birthday
    The 25200 days of yours after life
    Tell me if you’re alone in paradise

    I’m not someone that you know
    Who always stay alone in the snow
    A fool who love with all his life
    Only he cried when you closed your eyes

    Happy Birthday
    Wish I can hold you there
    Where love and dream can be found everywhere
  3. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Dedicate to Bluelion

    Inspiration from his life-time fiction

    I Am Ashes

    When the moon hang high on the sky
    Bring the time of the loner's silent cry
    It's not pain that bring these tear
    But no one to hold him near

    Bearing the scars of countless tortures
    By his scream they feel the pleasure
    Within darkness he whisper to death
    And wish his blood would eternal shed

    A monster from the deepest hell
    Marked by chains from that cruel cell
    Crawl in the world of rose and light
    No angel would listen to the monster's cry

    Hatred breeds the meaning of life
    It give you nothing but choking strife
    Dying soul will embrace the final torment
    And dream by the last moment

    "Burn me, burn me until i scream no more
    All pain will be cremated with my tainted gore
    Hate me, hate me without reason
    Just because i look like a demon

    Where am i sleeping now
    Must be a place where i cant be found
    In shadow come the growl of hungry beasts
    Angel let me be their savoury feast

    To save them
    And me..."​
  4. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:

    Peace Within A Cage

    What's home ?
    Should be a place where you belong
    With joy endless flow
    And your soul eternal glow

    It can't be a place
    Where everyone dig their own grave
    Be ruled under iron fist
    Drained out your blood to feed their greed

    Faith of the blind sheep
    Lost inside, nowhere to sleep
    Prey your pitiful soul for glorious leaders
    In my eyes they're all blood suckers

    You sacrificed your own children
    Will they really grant you a wealthy moment ?
    Peace within a cage
    The truth outside you never dares to face

    Enemies we defeated together
    After war, our souls were corrupted by desire
    With many lies we have to embrace
    All the shame are tainting our patriot's grave

    Your mouth are sealed by fear
    Sanity had died for all your tears
    Bleed your soul no more
    It's not the time to ignore

    You don’t have to fight but must realize
    What's the truth they always try to hide
    Once in you life stand high
    To live like human you have the right​
  5. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:

    Last Wish

    On the middle road of the dessert
    I'm wandering with my childhood' thirst
    It rage me from inside: the fate's call
    A man have to chase even he might fall

    I am one mortal creature of the ground
    But to the earth I have no more bound
    A descended flame of the sky
    Through rain and storm I never die

    Neither fortune nor fame is what I yearn for
    To fulfill destiny I didn't concern before
    Wealth and beauty must be left all behind
    Be free from the shadow of my life

    Tonight I sleep alone on the ice
    And you with my friend chose the bed of lie
    I feel warm here without your caress
    No more love for my tears to shed

    Don't hold my hand even this abyss is endless
    For my heart has no place else to rest
    Like my last wish to the starlit sky
    Pray for one angel of everlasting light​
  6. RATField

    RATField Fire in the hole! GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    Well, for our respective rule, I have to say, you were a little late. WHERE ARE YOUR POEMS?


    Close your eyes​

    "Close your eyes", you said
    "For what?", I comment
    "When you close your eyes,
    You will tell the truth

    "...when yours open wide
    you'll never tell your thoughts
    that hurts me a lot
    you'll tell the lies

    I've been touched the spot
    "You're retarded, ain't you??"
    "No I've seen it all,
    You will freely say, when your eyes are closed

    I just sadly say
    "Even if I tell, all the truth I want,
    No ones will trust it, when my soul is closed
    "Just a pair of stucked, your windows you say,
    But there's only those, that lie me all time

    "If we both closed, our own eyes we have
    Then we can just keep, exchanging the light
    "You mean truth is light? You're totally wrong,
    All you'll see is nothing, but the true darkness

    "I won't argue anymore, for that now I'm closed,
    My own precious eyes, I can tell you this
    The truth from my heart, the thing I'm hiding,
    I love you, for eternity

    "You can see the truth, once you want to
    Even if you closed, your eyes for ever
    You will see dark lies, once you are blind
    Even if you're healthy, opened all your senses

    I can only say
    "Damn you, why didn't you,
    Tell me that stupid thing?
    You're now blind, how can I trust you?"

    "I was too embarrassed,
    When I still have light,
    But I now 've said it
    Will you trust this once?

  7. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    I commented your poem already in your "field" ,it nice and some points are deep.

    I hope you might forgive me cuss i don't want to make your topic become dull by posting only old poems, my idea is: new place, new things.
  8. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Angel Descends

    Who am I in this world ?
    Behind their eyes I see the sword
    Forgive me tobe ugly born
    My fate is to die in snow alone

    Did I scare you to death?
    And why to live after you've left
    This scar I adore in my heart
    Endless pain of undying thirst

    My winter would've been forever
    If there was no moment to remember
    By your touch i was born once again
    Such beauty hurts more than pain

    To love I will be condemned
    Wonders in eyes why the angel descended
    Deliver my soul from this lonely prison
    Many nights I've dreamed of your salvation

    The dark path is somehow enlighted
    That was so much for a loner to cry
    Before there was the ocean of pain
    How long can this dream be remained ?

    Don't kiss me, my soul will bleed
    Don't hold me, i fall too deep
    Don't smile to me, it such a bliss
    Don't whisper, my heart can't sleep

    "You're not alone..."

    Why your hand reach to my grave ?
    Call my name and touch my face
    White tears or the snow are falling ?
    In your eyes i saw one last thing

    "Our love is everlasting..."​
  9. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Only Friend

    Walking down the lonesome roads
    Bitter taste to swallow in thorny throat
    Hollow and so empty
    Forever it vanished completely
    It's always this hard to live
    For my heart has nobody to give
    Why didn't you tell me before ?
    This pain i can't let in, nevermore.

    You and I, the sun and clouds
    Glow and flow, we live off the ground
    Yes, in heart we bind more than friend
    To be apart, i feel like the end
    Who know my pain as deep as you ?
    Yet my only friend i had to loose
    Why you stepped into the light alone ?
    I'm behind and the only to mourn.

    "When i'm gone, will you cry ?"
    I won't cry
    But my heart will die...
    And you smiled: "was it a lie ?"

    Don't leave me here, we have the future
    Waiting for us to light the fire
    The diamond should be immortal
    As the rising sun of tomorrow
    No more future if you disappear
    I will follow for my heart's sincere
    To heaven i shan't be repelled
    Nowhere to find, i fall down to hell​
  10. Kanone

    Kanone Mario & Luigi

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    i'm sr for interrupting
    but did u write all of these poems,logean?
    If you wrote ,I really feel impressed.
  11. RATField

    RATField Fire in the hole! GVN Veteran

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    Sorry, but if you've just "felt", just that much =)) then get the hell out of here ;))

    I have to say, you thought he stole someone's poems?

    Ya narrowed mind :D

    @ to logean : you shit of all bastard, reply me, don't need to make a poem whenever ya post, okay?

    About a poem...I AM BUSY. Holyshit.
  12. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Man, don't say that harsh in this "holy place" ;)), beside, it's quite natural for a person to suspect cuss in VN everything is almost not original created, of course, could even be poem.
    Your field should bring up some interesting topic, going on a sole way of your own might bring death to everything, even though it's an art topic.

    Thanks man, i'm appriciated for your comment.
    I didn't copy from anyone but i was inspired, by sir Tuomas (Nightwish), sir Timo Tolkki (Stratovarius), sir Michael Kiske and Andi Deris (Helloween) and other fellas of many (mostly) rock/heavy/symphonic/metal bands.
    If you listened to their songs, you might find some influences in my poems.
    My trend now is finding a unique style of writing poem, to separate from all of my master's.
    I hope you would come in here and give me your critics more.
    Thanks again
  13. Kanone

    Kanone Mario & Luigi

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:
    such an idiot.

    @logean: well,i'm international student
    and we are going through transcendentalist poem
    For me,it is very hard.=((
    because my vocab is limited and I can hardly find the consonances .
    my teacher say the best way to improve in writing poem is reading as much as I can read
    so thx u.
    My comment?
    Nothing except for my reverence.
  14. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    At first when i started writing poem it's also no consonance, cuss i thought it's pretty good enough to have a meaningful poem rather than "beautiful" poem.

    But changed my mind quickly cuss no one commented my poem :D, and i found out it's extremely easy to put in rhyme and set up consonances, you should try from the very short verse then develop the longer one, look at my poem from the 1st page to this page, i think you can see easily that the sentence of each poem getting longer day by day, cuss this is my training,too.

    Actually, you should try the "rhyme couplet", it's a traditional way to make poem. Even Shakespeare loved it, he put it in his play as " Romeo and Juliet "... and i use it for many of my poems as well.

    It should be like this (For instant):








    (notice that i'm not gonna put a->b->c then start over again, it's kinda weird in poem...)

    or the combiniation


    For me, one thing more is also an important factor: emotion and inspiration.
    I listen to emo music and read heart breaking mangas to get these feeling :p

    I hope i could help you more, since there is somebody that "feel" my poem with his heart, i'd do anything to help you pass this poem subject (well, i'm not good enough but i'll do the best, i say :D)

    and btw

    RATField's one of my best friend, so it's nice of him to say it for me, please don't say this bad next time, it's just a small matter anyway, rite? :D
  15. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:

    Long Lost Love

    Ticktock sound of old pendulum
    Waving within, of memory consumed
    Dead garden and forlorn bed
    A deprived heart with nothing left

    "For the beauty who was my first:
    Hope is everything for love
    First time in life I felt the burning thirst
    To live is worthy, to be in lust
    When I come, in the shadow you hide
    Tortured the loner, no one beside
    Were you not the angel of light ?
    After all, this pain was only mine..."

    "For my lady who come after:
    Your gaze gave me hard fever
    Seduced me, feed my desire
    To melt my heart you are the only fire
    Glanced at me and always smile
    Once again I thought you were mine
    But I ran and left you behind
    We stayed close but always say goodbye
    This letter will never reach your hand
    To confess, even I wasn't your man..."

    Young winter heart longs for one torch
    To warm his lips, to be comforted
    Heart beats the hymn of falling snow
    Withering, i'm the only lonely soul

    "To you, my angel of last innocence:
    Holy Goddess, is she your descendant ?
    Her eyes sparkling, I can't feel the ignorance
    The lost nightingale from forbidden heaven
    Her honest heart glows brighter than stars
    Warms my tears and caresses my scars
    Her scent stays unfaded on the poet's page
    Long lost love, i have nothing more to say
    Constant Thousand Years Of Snow has ended
    A torn butterfly's corpse is the only remained
    From this ground to heaven above
    Angel wings spread, blossoming rose
    Will the wind ever bring your voice again ?
    A lament of innocence to sway all my pain..."

    Winter might come, but it will go
    I'm not alone for once i've known
    Behind this cold razor wall
    There's one that always love you so.​
  16. Asakura Yume

    Asakura Yume Youtube Master Race

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Well, I wrote this a while title.

    Lots of love, I want to give
    But my heart is deep in vain,
    You left me, noticed such no pain.
    Even that I tried to hold back.

    Hold back...the words crack my view
    "See you, prepare for your fate."
    I want to take
    Nothing, but your hand,
    Wanna feel warm, wanna feel love.

    You're gone, those words are enough,
    I just wanna talk
    About my love which just for you.
  17. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    I feel it's just something in a middle of emotion and unfinished, if you make a tittle and put more words on it then i think it's will make a better poem.

    No offense but i think if you leave your poem in the middle of something like this it's should be graded 2/5.

    I'm an armature but i hope you would consider my critic as a support :wink:
  18. Asakura Yume

    Asakura Yume Youtube Master Race

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    You're right, I don't know how to complete it, the feeling isn't there,
  19. Kanone

    Kanone Mario & Luigi

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Nơi ở:

    :hug: But i still don't get what is "rhyme couplet" mean.
    Are u messed between assonances and consonances?
    I thought that we don't have to worry about the asonances in the poem,right?
    :-/ sorry because sometimes I just don't get it.Can u explain to me?
    Thx u a lot
    I really ,greatly,highly appreciate it.

    And we are cool,aren't we,RATField?
  20. logean

    logean C O N T R A

    Tham gia ngày:
    Bài viết:
    Usually i really don't understand the differences of assonance and consonance :D, i think it's complex and i want to keep the way of creating simple.

    But the "rhyme couplet" i mentioned above is to create....hmmm.... i changed my mind, i think it's for the rhyme not the consonance :D (as the name also mentioned)

    Even consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme are important. I only choose rhyme to be my best fella in poem, as long as my poem continue the very basic rule : create the rhyme.Then it make a poem itself.So maybe we can consider Rap could be called poem, without flowery words.

    Sorry for making you feel confusing, but an average poet like me can't explain more about consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme (for my knowledge is limited), and i think it's all the same :D (how shameful), i just want to write with the flow of emotions, i did ignore many rules but i have my poem at last :D. So you're right, assonance and consonance should not be the #1 problem when you make poem.

    Still, the "rhyme couplet", i think it's need some example to understand it easier:

    I do it like that, the assonance and consonance are difficult for me to obtain in my poem :D, mostly rhyme.

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