Silent tears of the poet

Are you kidding me ?

I never think like someone would put my garbage poem into their blog...

I appreciate a lot, use as you please, but give me your blog also,deal ?

 

Happy Birthday

Withered leaves are falling to the ground
With each fall my heart quivers deep down
This time of the year used to be the happiest
Now I know it’s the loneliest

Happy Birthday
I knew your only wish
One passionate kiss from his lips

No candle can light my heart
In this special day let it once hurt
This precious gift is only for you
Who now sleeping under this lonesome groove

Happy Birthday
Sorry for keeping you waiting so long
Now I’m here but where you’ve gone

Taste my heart of undying faith
And don’t question how it made
For this secret I kept until that day of winter
Since then we are apart forever

Happy Birthday
The 25200 days of yours after life
Tell me if you’re alone in paradise

I’m not someone that you know
Who always stay alone in the snow
A fool who love with all his life
Only he cried when you closed your eyes

Happy Birthday
Wish I can hold you there
Where love and dream can be found everywhere
​

 

Dedicate to Bluelion

Inspiration from his life-time fiction

I Am Ashes

When the moon hang high on the sky
Bring the time of the loner's silent cry
It's not pain that bring these tear
But no one to hold him near

Bearing the scars of countless tortures
By his scream they feel the pleasure
Within darkness he whisper to death
And wish his blood would eternal shed

A monster from the deepest hell
Marked by chains from that cruel cell
Crawl in the world of rose and light
No angel would listen to the monster's cry

Hatred breeds the meaning of life
It give you nothing but choking strife
Dying soul will embrace the final torment
And dream by the last moment

"Burn me, burn me until i scream no more
All pain will be cremated with my tainted gore
Hate me, hate me without reason
Just because i look like a demon

Where am i sleeping now
Must be a place where i cant be found
In shadow come the growl of hungry beasts
Angel let me be their savoury feast

To save them
And me..."​

 

Peace Within A Cage

What's home ?
Should be a place where you belong
With joy endless flow
And your soul eternal glow

It can't be a place
Where everyone dig their own grave
Be ruled under iron fist
Drained out your blood to feed their greed

Faith of the blind sheep
Lost inside, nowhere to sleep
Prey your pitiful soul for glorious leaders
In my eyes they're all blood suckers

You sacrificed your own children
Will they really grant you a wealthy moment ?
Peace within a cage
The truth outside you never dares to face

Enemies we defeated together
After war, our souls were corrupted by desire
With many lies we have to embrace
All the shame are tainting our patriot's grave

Your mouth are sealed by fear
Sanity had died for all your tears
Bleed your soul no more
It's not the time to ignore

You don’t have to fight but must realize
What's the truth they always try to hide
Once in you life stand high
To live like human you have the right​

 

Last Wish

On the middle road of the dessert
I'm wandering with my childhood' thirst
It rage me from inside: the fate's call
A man have to chase even he might fall

I am one mortal creature of the ground
But to the earth I have no more bound
A descended flame of the sky
Through rain and storm I never die

Neither fortune nor fame is what I yearn for
To fulfill destiny I didn't concern before
Wealth and beauty must be left all behind
Be free from the shadow of my life

Tonight I sleep alone on the ice
And you with my friend chose the bed of lie
I feel warm here without your caress
No more love for my tears to shed

Don't hold my hand even this abyss is endless
For my heart has no place else to rest
Like my last wish to the starlit sky
Pray for one angel of everlasting light​

 

Well, for our respective rule, I have to say, you were a little late. WHERE ARE YOUR POEMS?

AND YA SHOULD REMEMBER TO POST YOUR POEMS IN MY FIELD. DEATH SENTENCE FOR YOU IF YOU DON'T DO SO.

Close your eyes​

"Close your eyes", you said
"For what?", I comment
"When you close your eyes,
You will tell the truth"

"...when yours open wide
you'll never tell your thoughts
that hurts me a lot
you'll tell the lies"

I've been touched the spot
"You're retarded, ain't you??"
"No I've seen it all,
You will freely say, when your eyes are closed"

I just sadly say
"Even if I tell, all the truth I want,
No ones will trust it, when my soul is closed"
"Just a pair of stucked, your windows you say,
But there's only those, that lie me all time"

"If we both closed, our own eyes we have
Then we can just keep, exchanging the light"
"You mean truth is light? You're totally wrong,
All you'll see is nothing, but the true darkness"

"I won't argue anymore, for that now I'm closed,
My own precious eyes, I can tell you this
The truth from my heart, the thing I'm hiding,
I love you, for eternity"

"..."
"You can see the truth, once you want to
Even if you closed, your eyes for ever
You will see dark lies, once you are blind
Even if you're healthy, opened all your senses"

I can only say
"Damn you, why didn't you,
Tell me that stupid thing?
You're now blind, how can I trust you?"

"I was too embarrassed,
When I still have light,
But I now 've said it
Will you trust this once?"

...​

 

I commented your poem already in your "field" ,it nice and some points are deep.

I hope you might forgive me cuss i don't want to make your topic become dull by posting only old poems, my idea is: new place, new things.

 

Angel Descends

Who am I in this world ?
Behind their eyes I see the sword
Forgive me tobe ugly born
My fate is to die in snow alone

Did I scare you to death?
And why to live after you've left
This scar I adore in my heart
Endless pain of undying thirst

My winter would've been forever
If there was no moment to remember
By your touch i was born once again
Such beauty hurts more than pain

To love I will be condemned
Wonders in eyes why the angel descended
Deliver my soul from this lonely prison
Many nights I've dreamed of your salvation

The dark path is somehow enlighted
That was so much for a loner to cry
Before there was the ocean of pain
How long can this dream be remained ?

Don't kiss me, my soul will bleed
Don't hold me, i fall too deep
Don't smile to me, it such a bliss
Don't whisper, my heart can't sleep

"You're not alone..."

Why your hand reach to my grave ?
Call my name and touch my face
White tears or the snow are falling ?
In your eyes i saw one last thing

"Our love is everlasting..."​

 

Only Friend

Walking down the lonesome roads
Bitter taste to swallow in thorny throat
Hollow and so empty
Forever it vanished completely
It's always this hard to live
For my heart has nobody to give
Why didn't you tell me before ?
This pain i can't let in, nevermore.

You and I, the sun and clouds
Glow and flow, we live off the ground
Yes, in heart we bind more than friend
To be apart, i feel like the end
Who know my pain as deep as you ?
Yet my only friend i had to loose
Why you stepped into the light alone ?
I'm behind and the only to mourn.

"When i'm gone, will you cry ?"
I won't cry
But my heart will die...
And you smiled: "was it a lie ?"

Don't leave me here, we have the future
Waiting for us to light the fire
The diamond should be immortal
As the rising sun of tomorrow
No more future if you disappear
I will follow for my heart's sincere
To heaven i shan't be repelled
Nowhere to find, i fall down to hell​

 

i'm sr for interrupting
but did u write all of these poems,logean?
If you wrote ,I really feel impressed.

 

Sorry, but if you've just "felt", just that much then get the hell out of here

I have to say, you thought he stole someone's poems?

Ya narrowed mind

@ to logean : you shit of all bastard, reply me, don't need to make a poem whenever ya post, okay?

About a poem...I AM BUSY. Holyshit.

 

Man, don't say that harsh in this "holy place" , beside, it's quite natural for a person to suspect cuss in VN everything is almost not original created, of course, could even be poem.
Your field should bring up some interesting topic, going on a sole way of your own might bring death to everything, even though it's an art topic.

@Kanone:
Thanks man, i'm appriciated for your comment.
I didn't copy from anyone but i was inspired, by sir Tuomas (Nightwish), sir Timo Tolkki (Stratovarius), sir Michael Kiske and Andi Deris (Helloween) and other fellas of many (mostly) rock/heavy/symphonic/metal bands.
If you listened to their songs, you might find some influences in my poems.
My trend now is finding a unique style of writing poem, to separate from all of my master's.
I hope you would come in here and give me your critics more.
Thanks again

 

such an idiot.

@logean: well,i'm international student
and we are going through transcendentalist poem
For me,it is very hard.
because my vocab is limited and I can hardly find the consonances .
my teacher say the best way to improve in writing poem is reading as much as I can read
so thx u.
My comment?
Nothing except for my reverence.

 

At first when i started writing poem it's also no consonance, cuss i thought it's pretty good enough to have a meaningful poem rather than "beautiful" poem.

But changed my mind quickly cuss no one commented my poem , and i found out it's extremely easy to put in rhyme and set up consonances, you should try from the very short verse then develop the longer one, look at my poem from the 1st page to this page, i think you can see easily that the sentence of each poem getting longer day by day, cuss this is my training,too.

Actually, you should try the "rhyme couplet", it's a traditional way to make poem. Even Shakespeare loved it, he put it in his play as " Romeo and Juliet "... and i use it for many of my poems as well.

It should be like this (For instant):

[A,A]
[B,B]
[C,C]

or

[A]
[A]


[C]
[C]

or

[A]

[A]

(notice that i'm not gonna put a->b->c then start over again, it's kinda weird in poem...)

or the combiniation

[A,B]
[A,B]
[C,C]
[A,B]
[A,B]
[C,C]


For me, one thing more is also an important factor: emotion and inspiration.
I listen to emo music and read heart breaking mangas to get these feeling :p

I hope i could help you more, since there is somebody that "feel" my poem with his heart, i'd do anything to help you pass this poem subject (well, i'm not good enough but i'll do the best, i say )

and btw

RATField's one of my best friend, so it's nice of him to say it for me, please don't say this bad next time, it's just a small matter anyway, rite?

 

Long Lost Love

Ticktock sound of old pendulum
Waving within, of memory consumed
Dead garden and forlorn bed
A deprived heart with nothing left

"For the beauty who was my first:
Hope is everything for love
First time in life I felt the burning thirst
To live is worthy, to be in lust
When I come, in the shadow you hide
Tortured the loner, no one beside
Were you not the angel of light ?
After all, this pain was only mine..."

"For my lady who come after:
Your gaze gave me hard fever
Seduced me, feed my desire
To melt my heart you are the only fire
Glanced at me and always smile
Once again I thought you were mine
But I ran and left you behind
We stayed close but always say goodbye
This letter will never reach your hand
To confess, even I wasn't your man..."

Young winter heart longs for one torch
To warm his lips, to be comforted
Heart beats the hymn of falling snow
Withering, i'm the only lonely soul

"To you, my angel of last innocence:
Holy Goddess, is she your descendant ?
Her eyes sparkling, I can't feel the ignorance
The lost nightingale from forbidden heaven
Her honest heart glows brighter than stars
Warms my tears and caresses my scars
Her scent stays unfaded on the poet's page
Long lost love, i have nothing more to say
Constant Thousand Years Of Snow has ended
A torn butterfly's corpse is the only remained
From this ground to heaven above
Angel wings spread, blossoming rose
Will the wind ever bring your voice again ?
A lament of innocence to sway all my pain..."

Winter might come, but it will go
I'm not alone for once i've known
Behind this cold razor wall
There's one that always love you so.​

 

Well, I wrote this a while ago....no title.


Lots of love, I want to give
But my heart is deep in vain,
You left me, noticed such no pain.
Even that I tried to hold back.

Hold back...the words crack my view
"See you, prepare for your fate."
I want to take
Nothing, but your hand,
Wanna feel warm, wanna feel love.

You're gone, those words are enough,
I just wanna talk
About my love which just for you.

 

I feel it's just something in a middle of emotion and unfinished, if you make a tittle and put more words on it then i think it's will make a better poem.

No offense but i think if you leave your poem in the middle of something like this it's should be graded 2/5.

I'm an armature but i hope you would consider my critic as a support :wink:

 

You're right, I don't know how to complete it, the feeling isn't there, suddenly...so...

 

:hug: But i still don't get what is "rhyme couplet" mean.
Are u messed between assonances and consonances?
I thought that we don't have to worry about the asonances in the poem,right?
sorry because sometimes I just don't get it.Can u explain to me?
Thx u a lot
I really ,greatly,highly appreciate it.

And we are cool,aren't we,RATField?

 

Usually i really don't understand the differences of assonance and consonance , i think it's complex and i want to keep the way of creating simple.

But the "rhyme couplet" i mentioned above is to create....hmmm.... i changed my mind, i think it's for the rhyme not the consonance (as the name also mentioned)

Even consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme are important. I only choose rhyme to be my best fella in poem, as long as my poem continue the very basic rule : create the rhyme.Then it make a poem itself.So maybe we can consider Rap could be called poem, without flowery words.

Sorry for making you feel confusing, but an average poet like me can't explain more about consonance, assonance, alliteration and rhyme (for my knowledge is limited), and i think it's all the same (how shameful), i just want to write with the flow of emotions, i did ignore many rules but i have my poem at last . So you're right, assonance and consonance should not be the #1 problem when you make poem.

Still, the "rhyme couplet", i think it's need some example to understand it easier:

[A,A]
[B,B]
[C,C]
[D,D]

I do it like that, the assonance and consonance are difficult for me to obtain in my poem , mostly rhyme.